February 23rd, 3024

Eros,

Its not like I don't know it. I know it. I know everyone else probably knows it. You can't hide that you're a smoker when everyone is judging your smile. I know I look like a fucking monster. I know I am, kind of, a monster. A masochist. A freak. They wonder about me, I know they do, and I wonder about them, because they are all humans and I'm not a human anymore. It makes sense that we'd be curious. They always ask me "What is it like, watching the world evolve and change?" and I wish I cared enough to answer. But, Goddamnit, I don't. Not at all. One of them will invariably say, at some point in the interview, "for all these years" because they want me to talk about each year, each era, one by one. They want my story. But they live so quickly that they can't even see the years have started to stretch. I'm not kidding. The Earth is spinnning slower. I see that. Maybe once, years and years ago, I thought about it. I can't remember that far back anymore. I might once have noticed and needed society. And sure, I can see my physical surroundings. I know them enough to notice how shits changing at a rate that hasn't stopped accelerating. We've hit light speed, folks, and yeah, time definitely slows when you're moving this fast. I don't even feel time anymore. There is that expression, you know the one I mean- Time is a blur. Who said that, anyway? Blurring suggests existence, but there is no such thing as time. So I can't even think about change for these reporters. How could I? Change happens because this thing we know as time has stretched us out and we're forced to try and catch up with our length. Not me, though. Not anymore. Can I change if time doesn't move? For me? I've been affixed. I'm a static fucking conglomeration of these things they call cells, frozen finally, and they've discovered through me that these things they call cells aren't really cells at all, and so I know what I am. I'm a vibration on pause, cause thats all cells are anyway, you know? A zillion different particles that are all supposed to vibrate on different waves of light, just to reflect me. But I'm on pause. We're all descendents of some star that blew the fuck up, and here I am on pause, waiting to blow up, too. I know my nothingness, and its all that nothing that makes me a monster.


-Lynn