I've been thinking about it. Again.
I've also been thinking about the bubbles. Our cities. Our little bubble atmospheres. And the moon. I'd like to go again, before I really go. You know?
Since, I've been thinking about it. I know, Eros, I shouldn't. Life is precious and mine is particularly important. I know that. The world likes to see someone immortal. If only Jasper hadn't of offed himself, there'd be us two. I'm the only one, though. After Sadeem killed himself, I thought for sure Jasper'd make it through. I'm the only one of us left. I wonder, you know, when I meditate, whether their souls are still alive. I think mine died. Definitely. My soul. I'm not me. I'm just an organism existing unnaturally, against the will of some higher power. I know I'll be punished, if there is a heaven or a hell. Maybe my soul is already being punished in hell somewhere. Since it's not in me anymore. It was so long ago when I had a soul. I remember it, I think. It might once have been a pretty yellow soul. Maybe even gold. But its dead. The only part of me I couldn't ever capture in a little glass vial, to display on my shelf like a fucking trophy. So everyone can see how much of a fucking freak I am. A genuine freak of nature.
According to nature, I am not real.
I'm not real, anyway. I barely feel. I'm just a collection of coiled up data, being rewritten on repeat even as we speak. I'm a library of amino acids. Thats all. I forget my memories.
Eros. I'm thinking I'm going to kill myself, soon. Dead. D.E.A.D. Dead.