Thursday, March 24, 2011

April 16th, 3024


I've been thinking about it. Again.

I've also been thinking about the bubbles. Our cities. Our little bubble atmospheres. And the moon. I'd like to go again, before I really go. You know?

Since, I've been thinking about it. I know, Eros, I shouldn't. Life is precious and mine is particularly important. I know that. The world likes to see someone immortal. If only Jasper hadn't of offed himself, there'd be us two. I'm the only one, though. After Sadeem killed himself, I thought for sure Jasper'd make it through. I'm the only one of us left. I wonder, you know, when I meditate, whether their souls are still alive. I think mine died. Definitely. My soul. I'm not me. I'm just an organism existing unnaturally, against the will of some higher power. I know I'll be punished, if there is a heaven or a hell. Maybe my soul is already being punished in hell somewhere. Since it's not in me anymore. It was so long ago when I had a soul. I remember it, I think. It might once have been a pretty yellow soul. Maybe even gold. But its dead. The only part of me I couldn't ever capture in a little glass vial, to display on my shelf like a fucking trophy. So everyone can see how much of a fucking freak I am. A genuine freak of nature.

According to nature, I am not real.

I'm not real, anyway. I barely feel. I'm just a collection of coiled up data, being rewritten on repeat even as we speak. I'm a library of amino acids. Thats all. I forget my memories.

Eros. I'm thinking I'm going to kill myself, soon. Dead. D.E.A.D. Dead.

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